Wednesday, November 5, 2008

#1 Weddings are boring - Yes and No!

Yes and how:

Figure this: Women draped in heavily sequined designer saris and Kanchivarams with matching accessories and makeup strutting around with a constant hiss. More for displaying the strength of their wardrobes and jewel boxes. The ear-drum-cracking wail of music instruments mixed with the distorted rhythm of drums. Waywardly kids screeching, tearing each other’s hair, and running around frantically in search of nothing.

Amidst all these, two poor souls, sit or stand as the case may be, in a raised platform decorated with flowers and weigh down with the burden of jewels and the future prospects the wedding holds for them in the future.

Not to mention, the torturous and painstaking effort the bride and groom go through in the name of makeover just before the wedding. For the sake of looking photo perfect in the wedding, of course. Photo perfect! That they need to be. For those bulky albums heavy enough to kill somebody if dropped accidently - those are passed onto generations. Well you can’t afford to look bad on your wedding day especially when your wedding photo album is going to be viewed by your grandson’s son, possibly. And yes, the bride and groom have to smile, cramming their facial muscles in the process, through all the hundred thousand photos that are being taken on one single day.

And the elaborate rituals – the poor groom is subjected to the holy smoke for hours together notwithstanding his allergies.

But seriously, who wants a lavish and elaborate wedding if it is not an excuse for both the families to showcase their wealth and relationship circle. The relationship circle, on the other hand, foul-mouth in most cases about the food and the bride/groom’s match or mismatch. In others, sometimes they do praise the chef for spreading out a lavish dinner, go green with jealous at the other woman’s supposedly exquisite piece of necklace.

For all these, and other unmentioned millions of reasons it is not a sin to consider that weddings are boring. Especially the elaborate and lavish ones. We could definitely do without it replacing it with a simple ritual!

No and how:

I must admit at least we, the feminine gender, have some strong inclination for the weddings! (At least, most of us). When it comes to 'Attending a wedding', it surely means LOADS of planning and proper execution of the plan. If you are wondering how, let me explain.

Be it a friend's or a relative's wedding, our preparation starts prior to a fortnight*!
(*Conditions apply - especially when it happens to be the Neighbour's wedding!)
Few points to elaborate on the extra effort we girls put in to make 'Attending a wedding' success!! :D

Dress Selection – What to wear? What not to wear! Or should I try a sari? Which color?
Oh my god! It's so important because so many books are judged by their covers!! :D

Matching Accessories - *Phew*
The Most critical part! Matching Bangles, Earrings, Necklace, and Make up!! No wonder we take so much time grooming ourselves. .. But don't WE love doing all this? :D

Booking the Tickets - If it's an out station wedding. We don't wait till the last minute for the reservations (unlike most of the guys do!)

A visit to the 'Beauty Temple' (Beauty Parlour) before attending an important function is considered to be "Auspicious" by most of the ladies!

With so much of planning and effort put in, how can attending a wedding be Boring?? Well, Even if it does, few tips to make it interesting:

Become the Photographer - Get a camera along. Click photos. Click uncle. Click Aunty. Click all those grandpas, grandmas, kids, flowers, that guy, this girl, whatsoever, whosoever! It certainly helps killing time.

Observe people - Occupy a nice cosy place and observe people.
At the end of the day, you will surely have an account of all those who dig their nose in public, scratch their head and other gestures!

The Food – If you are a 'Foodie', make sure you don't miss this section of the marriage!

Family Reunion? – This tip is applicable only for those who consider themselves social butterflies. PMC ('polite meaningless conversations') with uncles, aunties, grandpa's, grandma's whom u have never seen or even heard for ages can be challenging as well as entertaining.

Look Around - IF are lucky, you might end up seeing some Good looking faces. Let me repeat, ONLY if you are lucky! :)

This reminds me, while doing the same at my friend's sister's wedding, we (me n bunch of crazy friends) ended up spotting a Good looking guy. We made sure we made him uncomfortable by showering unlimited attention! Apparently, that lucky soul, who got embarrassed at the end, happened to be a south Indian film actor (Srikanth). So, do look around.

If you are single and want to remain single, make sure you stay away from the desperate Aunties who come to the weddings only for "Match-Fixing"!

But if you are so sure the wedding is going to be a bore, help yourself by staying away from it!


Succulent said...

Seems very interesting thought...kudos!! No wonder you had a JV with Nebula!! :)

Aks said...

Well said. The best part is when the jobless camera guy comes with a flood light and starts shooting when you have your mouth-full of whatever it is. And you pretend as though there isn't anything in.

Shamrez Zack said...

Gud un guyz... Am proud of you :P

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